The Flower Field 6 (Nature)

The Flower Field 6

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One thought on “The Flower Field 6 (Nature)

  1. I have had a bad period of my life for the last 5-6 years. I was depressed and had lost my joy for life, and my love of doing things. I was depressed because of a mixture of things, mainly because of bad health, but also due to feelings of isolation because I was not being ‘true to myself’ – i.e. I did not say what I felt and ended with false friends, doing the wrong things for me and so on. This leaves you feeling like you are acting all of the time, saying things that are not true, which is very draining. I don’t really know why I did this. It was because I am quite shy I think, and keen to make friends and not be ‘left out’. That is where it started maybe. Of course, if you just stay true to yourself, then you end up with the sort of friends you want. I understand this now.

    I eventually became very withdrawn and anxious in public situations, whereas before I liked meeting people and never felt uncomfortable with people around me – at least not in an irrational way. I would feel uncomfortable in the normal situations, of course; say if my trousers fell down(!) But during this bad time I felt a lot of anxiety around others. I was depressed, had bad insomnia, and felt my mental health was badly effected.

    I am feeling better now, mainly because my health problem has improved a great deal, but also because time is the healer I guess. Before this all started, I used to enjoy doing things. Like I used to enjoy public performance – the feeling of acting and playing music in front of others (I am a pianist sort of). I also enjoyed going for walks with my family and my dogs in big, green, leafy parks with fields and streams and forests. And I enjoyed going to the cinema with friends. And other things. I remember the knowledge that I enjoyed these things – I know I did – but I cannot remember the actual feeling so well. This is why I am asking this question. I want you to tell me what you enjoy, and what it feels like, if you can, so that maybe it will jog my memory and help me to feel it again. Why do you think you enjoy it?

    So, what brings you genuine happiness and enjoyment? I mean an activity that you do because you love doing it, pure and simple. Not something you do because you feel like you should because of how you look, and what it means to others that you do it maybe. I want to know about the things you do for you, that make you feel good, that you naturally gravitate towards because the feeling is good for you. And why.

    I’m sorry, I know this all sounds a little bit silly, self-occupied and overly-sensitive. But it is all an honest reflection of how I am feeling right now. I hope this goes some way in making up for that.



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